How to Have a Solo Personal Retreat at Home
or in a coffee shop, a park, or down the street
If you feel like your life has become stressful, chaotic, or just all jumbled up, a day away can be just what you need. With a bit of planning and structure it can be the perfect balance of self-care, shift in perspective, mindfulness, and creative thinking.
When you think about taking a solo retreat (do you ever actually think about that LOL?) are these some of your reasons excuses for not?
I can’t afford the time away.
I’m just too busy right now.
I don’t want to be alone.
I just don’t see how it would help.
I’m scared I’ll waste time and accomplish nothing.
My husband/family/business partner won’t understand.
It feels too indulgent.
I can’t deal with all of the logistics of finding the place to stay, figuring out what to do, etc.
I just don’t know where to start.
One of the most-asked questions I get is, "Kimberly, do I have to go away for several days to do a personal retreat? Can’t I just do one at home?”
Well, of course you can!
“The concept is not so much about finding three days away from home; it’s really just a willingness to step away from the world and sit with yourself.”
And, you can do this in ten minutes or you can take five days. And, you can make it work with anything in between. If you want to read more about planning longer, overnight retreats? Start here.
FIRST THING TO DECIDE
First, decide if you need a few hours away from your office to A) have time alone to think, reflect, etc., or B) work on a project. Let’s call A) a GetawayDay.
I do both, but the experience and the outcomes are dramatically different. In this post, I’m going to focus on what I believe in the most, the GetawayDay, and I will do a different post on Out of Office Project Days.
Imagine a morning, or afternoon, or full day where you are 5-10 minutes from home, quiet, without distractions, with no responsibilities but to yourself.
This is a day to be with yourself. To be quiet. To put yourself in a different environment and be still.
I bet if a friend called you and said she needed some help - some time with you - your advice and perspective, you would say, “Of course! Where do you want me to meet you?.” Well, do you ever do that for yourself?
Most people don’t, and it’s such an amazing habit to form. And it helps you focus, feel accomplishments, and increase your confidence. Keep reading to see how to put your GetawayDay together.
I’ve put together a handy downloadable GetawayDay Guide to help you organize all the thoughts below. You can grab it below.
Three steps to planning your day of self-reflection and refocus.
Decide on your Purpose
Find a Date
Organize the Day
1 | PURPOSE
First, and most importantly, decide your Purpose/Why/Intention. What do you hope to get from the day?
At this particular point in your life, what matters the most to you? What is holding you back? How can you grow? What brings you joy?
The most magical thing is that ALL of these answers are already within you.
In the GetawayDay Guide you can see some real-life Intentions that others have set.
2 | DATE
Then, find a date. Sure, you could just wake up one morning, sit up in bed and say, “Hello, World! I’m motivated to have a day of self-care and self-reflection - let’s go!” Ummmmmmm . . . .right. So I recommend putting it on your calendar like it’s any other appointment. Because that’s what it is, an appointment with yourself.
And if you don’t think that you’re important enough to have an appointment with, then maybe that will help you figure out your intention.
3 | ORGANIZE
In the GetawayDay Guide, there is a much more detailed section on this.
Organize three areas: THE SPACE | THE AGENDA | THE SUPPLIES
THE SPACE
Decide where you’re going to spend the day. Yes, you could be in your backyard, but it makes such a difference is you can get out of your house. This is because when we remove ourselves from our everyday environment, we literally have new thoughts - see things differently - come up with new solutions to old problems.
Please do not discount the power of this.
A library, favorite coffee shop, a park, a hotel lobby, a friend’s back porch (if she is gone for the day).
Maybe you move around - go for a walk; hang out on a swing; go to a favorite mom n’ pop restaurant for lunch and to have a table on which to work.
Choose a place that is as distraction-free as possible.
Be in or near nature - at least for part of the day.
Choose a place that is calming, quiet, and inspiring if possible.
THE AGENDA
Create a loose agenda based on your Intention for the day. I like to call this, “an agenda filled with grace.”
How to start the day:
Do you want to start the day with coffee and a walk?
An invigorating fitness class?
A stretch class?
Or, do you want to jump right into your thinking and reflection?
Pro tip: make sure you move your body, whether it is a walk, or a class, or just several yoga stretches by yourself.
Next,
Write, think, pray, create - all related to your Intention. And you might start in one space and then move to another. Thinkk if you need a comfortable chair or want a desk or a table?
Wrap-Up
Are you going to take another walk? Sit in a church? Have a glass of wine or take yourself out to dinner? Have an idea, but be open to what feels good.
SUPPLIES/TOOLS
Think through what will help you have the best day. The GetawayDay Guide has a list for you to consider.
Notebook/Journal
Earbuds or headphones (great if you want to appear to be busy so no one interrupts you!)
Favorite pens
A book that speaks to you
A stack of quote cards
Maybe (maybe) your laptop
Now, if you having a hard time figuring out what your day would look like, here is my favorite way to get unstuck: Ask yourself, “at the end of the day, what do I want to say? What do I want to tell my husband, or my mom, or my daughter?”
Then, write down what you hope you can say - what your day was like, and the ah-ha’s that you had, and why you can’t wait to do it again.
Then, reverse-engineer it.
What does it look like?
A GetawayDay is similar to a full Personal or Solo Retreat, but easier and smaller commitment, which probably already makes you say, “whew!”
Just remember that without the elements (both good and bad) of everyday life, you are free to “try on” on whatever it is about yourself you’d like to explore more. It’s like going into a dress shop and trying on something you don’t typically wear. how do you feel in that sexy dress, or the bomber jacket?
Whether you aim to have a spiritual, artistic, adventuresome, active/athletic, cultural, or self-reflective GetawayDay, it will be worth it.
And just like with a friend, you will have conversations with yourself that simply don’t happen when you are running about in your everyday life.
Let me know how it goes - I mean it!
